Last week I went to a slumber party with the Relief Society, and as I was standing in the middle of all our baggage with my baby who was the only baby protesting at being considered baggage (obviously she is FULLY aware of her own self-worth!), I was listening to the two groups of women and the two conversations they were having. It was the same conversation. About the baby fat. The fat that just won't go away. They were funny conversations, really. But I remember looking around in that moment at all the women and realizing we all looked the same. Some of us were pregnant, some of us had just one baby, some of us had six (O.K., only me, but I digress), but we all are changed forever, and we all had the same body to show for it. A little soft around the edges, or as one of my most favorite and insanely beautiful friends eloquently called it, the "bluh bluh bluh". She used her hands to illustrate her point, you'll have to use your imagination. Beautiful women, women who worked out every day (oh yeah, by the way, that's NOT me).
Anyway, that was the first 15 min of our trip, and I chuckled. And just a couple of days later, another friend of mine posted this blog post up on Facebook. http://realitiesofasahm.blogspot.com/2010/10/i-like-your-body-mom.html Now, although I don't consider myself the most beautiful thing ever seen, especially with my children who remind me almost daily that my teeth are yellow, my nose is big, I have a few extra wrinkles, and I look pregnant (I hear this one almost daily, darn kids! But in their defense, they're not telling me I'm fat, they're enthusiastically noting my new pregnancy, which I am most definitely NOT and tell them EVERY TIME! They really enjoy the babies I suppose), I don't exactly suffer from low self-esteem. I would LIKE whiter teeth, I'd LIKE to be able to button my pants without a rubber band, but lets face it, life has so many other things to worry about, it just is what it is. And luckily, my girls feel that way about themselves as well. Actually, they all know they are quite gorgeous, something I personally think every little girl should know about themselves. So, although these events all happened close enough in sequence that I felt the Lord was trying to tell me something, I did wonder WHY the Lord was telling me. I still don't know. But that night at the slumber party, one of my wonderful and beautiful friends was saying she never doubted she was quite gorgeous as a girl. Was quite sure of it until she went to college and all her roommates all had something wrong with them (according to them, of course), and than she really took a hard look in the mirror at herself. Guess what she found. She found flaws. Flaws that she had never noticed before. What is wrong with us women?! Surely the Lord did not intend for our self-worth to be based on how the world sees us? Does there truly have to be something wrong with us for us to fit in? Is it really vain to like ourselves? After all, the worlds perception of women isn't exactly a standard to live up to.
If you haven't seen this Dove video, check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U&feature=related
Now, although I am not known for handing out bits of wisdom, there are marvelous women all over this world who are glad to share an abundance with us, so for those who haven't read Shari Dew's book "No Doubt About It", I would like to share a small bit.
Satan of course knows how spiritually potent the knowledge of our divine identity is. He hates women of the noble birthright. He hates us because he is almost out of time, while we are en route to everlasting glory and a fullness of joy. He hates us because of the influence we have on husbands and children, family and friends, the Church and even the world. It is no secret to him that we are the Lord's secret weapon.
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Clearly, Satan wants us to see ourselves as the world sees us, not as the Lord sees us, because the world's mirror, like a circus mirror in which a five-foot, ten-inch woman appears two feet tall, distorts and minimizes us. Satan tells us we're not good enough. Not smart enough. Not thin enough. Not cute enough. Not clever enough. Not anything enough. And that is a big, fat, devilish lie. He wants us to believe that there is no status or significance in being a mother. That is a lie-and an evil lie. He wants us to believe that the influence of women is inherently inferior. And that is a lie.
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How many of us don't understand the simple principles C. S. Lewis expressed in hi oft-quoted statement that "it is a serious thing to have to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which...you would be strongly tempted to worship....It is in light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them that we should conduct all our dealings with one another...There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations-these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit-immortal horrors or everlasting splendours" (the Weight of Glory, 14-15)
The fact of the matter is we are all daughters of God, a Heavenly Father who loves us, and I think, if we could look in the mirror and see the same thing the Lord sees, we would change. We would like ourselves. I dare say we would love ourselves, thereby increasing our own capacity to love those around us. And what greater gift can we give our daughters than to let them know who they are and their inherent greatness, and to love themselves as the Lord loves them.
Well, this post took on a life of it's own, I'm not sure what happened as this is not what I meant to write, especially as I felt a bit like Funny Girl in singing in her first musical as the Most Beautiful Bride (thanks Uncle Rob!) after putting up the title and than a picture of myself.
So, I will finish with my favorite quote, and than if you are not quite out of time, feel free to hit my one last link, even my children listened to it and than said, "That was good."
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be?
Your are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbYLKVgwztY
Sorry, I tried to put up the video but I can't figure it out, links e good I guess.
2 comments:
great post jill! we all need to be reminded of this and often :)
Jill! I'm so glad that you posted this. Seriously. I was just talking to a friend about how she has no obligation to downplay herself so that a friend of hers can feel better about her own insecurities. There were other things we discussed that revolved around exactly what you talked about and I think I needed to read this, and send it to her so that she could read it. Thank you for writing about this!
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